Why do vampire films ...suck?

So when I'm not writing in my SCARS blog, trolling for hot chicks on myspace, and telling you my every waking move on twitter, I'm hanging out on BlueBlood.net. Blue Blood is a pretty interesting alt community that has some amazing members on the forums. 

Now I can't remember how the subject came up (it was probably on twitter) but the question of zombie vs. vampire films had been invading the on-line world.  My stance on the matter is that vampire films have a great potential but often fall short .... however zombie films tend to nail it. (Most of the time.)

But why? Shouldn't the "creatures of the night" be at the top of the horror food chain ?

I posted the question on the Blue Blood forums and got some great response. Two opinions that really stuck out to me where: 

From Aza:

"I'm not sure if the two can be compared. I mean, what exactly was the last Vampire flick that actually tried to be a "horror" movie? Nowadays, vamps just aren't monsters anymore; they're porn stars. Seriously, who do you know who's still afraid of vampires? My guess is no one, because thanks to White Wolf and "Underworld" and other institutions that over-theorized vampire culture, people either want to be vamps or fuck vamps... or both.

Nobody I know personally wants to be a zombie, and no one in their right mind would ever want to fuck one. Zombies have no culture, no politics, no romantic tendencies; there's nothing to detract from their image as monsters. Zombies can still frighten people because they haven't been over-pussified.

My personal opinion: Zombies all the way!"

 

From keiko:

" Vampires haven't been scary since Bella Lugosi. But there also hasn't been a GOOD vampire movie since him either. Way too cheesy. Hell they've started marketing the blood suckers to teeny boppers. bleh. 

I still have nightmares about Zombies. Especially when my roomie is playing Left for Dead on the other side of the drywall. Runners scare the bejeesus outta me. Shamblers at least you can out run... or at least out run the slowest of the other survivors. 28 Days was properly freakifying and as always there's Romero zombies that make going to the mall too often a little harrowing, esp on Saturday afternoons."

It's a very sad truth that we've taken the monster out of the vampire. I'm sure when Twilight premiered, Bram Stoker turned over in his grave. 

Filmmaker Eric Stanze also pointed out that vampire movies tend to not have much in the way of special effects .... whereas even bad zombie movies have amazing makeup work. 

*sigh*

Guess I'm just gonna have to make a real vampire movie someday ......

Till then, might I suggest these films of the bats that don't ....err...suck.

1. Martin by George A. Romero 

Funny how the zombie king could also make one the most innovative vampire films.

2. Shadow of the Vampire by E.Elias Merhige

A great sleeper film that goes into the legend behind the film Nosferatu.

3. Nosferatu (both the 1922 and the 1979 versions) By  F.W. Murnau and Werner Herzog

Both stunning films .... and the first may have even stared a real vampire!

4. Near Dark by Kathryn Bigelow

My personal favorite of the 80's vampire boom.

5.  Ravenous by Antonia Bird

Some don't see see this as a vampire film . I do. You should watch it and report back to me.

6. Last Man on Earth by Ubaldo Ragona

Sorry kids ... Vincent Price does in better than Will Smith any day!

Honorable mentions go to the 1990's Interview with the Vampire and Dracula.

STAY DEAD!

Nos