The hardest shoot ... ever.

Greetings SCARS readers!

Sunday was a pretty extreme day for your favorite Gore Whore.

I'm working on a top secret project for Wicked Pixel Cinema. It's going to be BIG and AMAZING - so when they asked me to participate in it, I said "HELL YES".

Now I can't give anything away yet but today was set for shooting video and stills for this project. The location was a place we lovingly refer to as "The death farm". It's where we shot most of SAVAGE HARVEST 2 and parts of DEADWOOD PARK. Director/actor Jason Christ's family own the property and runs the family farm off of it - so there's all kinds of cows and shit. There is also this little creek bed, deep inside the land, that Mr.Eric Stanze thought would be the most amazing place to shoot. He also thought I would look wicked cool naked, covered in WET flour and fake blood ...

So we decided to get the stills first. I stripped down and immersed myself with the flour mixture. At first first it wasn't so bad ... a little slimy sure but nothing I couldn't handle. About half way through the stills the flour started to harden, becoming rather uncomfortable. Within 20 minutes the mixture had become like a second skin that was cracking and pulling with every breath I took. It started to feel like I had a band-aid covering my whole body and it was getting peeled off slowly. In short, it was a big pile of suck.

By the time we got to the video part, I was in tears with every step I took. I did my best to hang in there but I eventually had to just stop because everything was too painful. Then I went to wash off and I couldn't get the shit off of me! So I had to try and put my clothes on over the dried goop. I got my pants on okay but it was so painful trying to get my shirt back on I just said "fuck it" and wrapped a towel around myself. The ride home was a long one and I tried not to make direct eye contact with the people in cars next to me.

It took an hour and half in a HOT shower to get everything off. I still didn't have it all out of my hair by the time I went out to eat ... thank jebus for colorful scarves. I'm told that everything looked great and in the end that's what ya do this crazy shit for! But for the record: covering your talent in wet flour is NOT a good plan ... however it does look pretty bad ass. I'm sure all of you will enjoy it.

So stay tuned for updates on this AMAZING project!

And while your on the world wide web, feel free to vote for me :)

Thank you all for the support! When I'm knee deep in gunk I think about you guys and I get through it :)

*group hug*

STAY DEAD!

Nos

ABBA + The end of summer

Greetings SCARS readers!

I know summer technically goes till the end of August but kids are back in school, summer tours are ending, and my fall endeavors have started to take over.

The summer of 09' was epic. Television went digital. Famous people died. The 6th Harry Potter film came out. I graduated from cosmetology school, worked on two movies, traveled this country, and took many pretty photos.

How do you end the most important summer ever? ABBA. Gold.

Yes, you herd me. This blog, after all, is titled Confessions of a Gore Whore. Seeing ABBA was an unexpected surprise, like finding a bag of melted chocolate in your car.

The whole thing came about during a hot August afternoon. My younger cousin and I where at the Decatur Celebration watching one of her favorite bands play. After the show she informs that ABBA GOLD will be performing that night, to which I respond "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". Sure enough at 9:45 the ABBA was set to play. How could I resist?

I'm proud to report that it was every bit the freak show I had hoped for. Drunk forty somethings having some sort of a religious experience. A woman with her hands in the air, dancing in circles, sobbing. People holding hands and belting out the words to FERNANDO. - I had really underestimated the raw power of ABBA and their fan base.

The show was performed in all the 70's glory too! White and gold spandex outfits, glitter head bands, and even go go boots. The energy was truly amazing. I wasn't expecting this kind of heart .... it got me thinking about the end of summer.

Late July, early August is naturally a sad time. As kids it was the end of our summer, as adults it's the end of our childhood. For one reason or another, many people I held close to my heart pass away during this time too. Every August I always long for things that simply don't exist anymore. But then there these little moments that wash over us ... remind us of who we use to be. For that split second you're right back where you're from and it's a beautiful thing.

That's what those people at the show were feeling. In that forty-five minutes, they were sixteen again. Fucking Dancing Queens ... all of them.

And you know what? They probably all needed that.

******************************************************************

I know my adventures are for from being over. 2009 keeps getting better and better, even with the bullshit that pops up.

Sometimes it's just nice to have silly summer evening and forget about life for minute.

STAY DEAD!

Nos

Safety First.

So after a conversation I had this week, I feel the need to address something important. I know a lot of new and would be models/actresses read this blog. I love you ladies and I want you to be safe! Modeling/acting should be a healthy and positive experience for you.

So lets get real for a second.

I have been working in this field for 7 years now. A large part of it has been film work. (both behind and in front of the camera) A large part of it has also been naked and in "adult" situations. When I'm filming a movie there are ALWAYS multiple people on set. I have NEVER been on set with just me and the director. Sometimes I ask for a "closed" set in which only the necessary people are in the room. This is perfectly acceptable and I've never had any director or producer contest it. Things are always kept extremely professional and I have never felt like my performance has suffered.

Modeling is a slightly different situation in that you don't need as many people on set. (It's not like you're running sound and generally the photographer lights his own set.) Depending on what your shooting there may be a make up/hair stylist and even someone running wardrobe. Other times it will just be the photographer on set.

I want to get something crystal clear here: In either case, you have the RIGHT to bring an escort.

It's about what makes YOU comfortable and able to do your best work. For some girls that's going alone to a shoot ... and that's fine too so long as it's your decision to do so. Personally, I always have an escort/assistant/travel companion the first time I shoot with anyone new. 9 time out of 10 they drive me to the location, look things over, shake hands with the director or photographer and then leave until we're done shooting. Other times they stick around for the whole thing and quietly read a book in the next room.

Anyone who makes you feel that you're stupid for doing this is full of shit.

Trust me, I've been on both sides. I've had actresses bring escorts that have almost burnt down the studio. Does that mean I no longer allow escorts on my set? Of course not. It just means that if someone is being a douche bag, I ask them to step out until we're done shooting. There's no reason what so ever that the director/photographer can't at least meet with your escort.

It's also one thing for the director/photographer to openly discuss the situation with you and another for them the flip out the moment you mention bringing someone else. If they are getting angry with with you, saying condescending things about you, or telling you that you're not a "real" professional ... END THE CONVERSATION RIGHT THERE. You don't need to put up with that bullshit - and that's just what it is, BULLSHIT. You have to really ask yourself if this is type of person you want to be working with. Someone who won't even talk to you about your concerns or even listen to what you are saying. Someone who will belittle you because of your choices.

No gig is worth that.

However YOU need to be understanding too. One the reasons directors/photographers get upset about escorts is that models do bring the wrong people with them. Remember this is about your comfort ... so if you feel uncomfortable undressing in front of your father, you really shouldn't bring him to your nude scene. If your lover is the extremely jealous type you might feel self conscious if they're lurking around. If your best friend is gonna talk on the cell phone the whole time and eat all the food ... they might not be the best choice either. Whoever you bring needs to be professional, courteous, and invisible.

It's a great big, fun world .... there just happens to be a lot of shit heads.

Be safe.

Love you.

Nos

Philly + L.A.

This past week was completely nuts ... and I loved every minute of it!

*On Sunday I flew out to Philly.

*Monday my mother and I hit up a mall the size of a third world country. I may have geeked out over the couture boutiques more than once.

*Tuesday I visited the Mutter Museum. (http://www.collphyphil.org/mutter.asp) This place has an amazing collection of dead things. We're talking fetus babies in jars, conjoined twin skeletons, skulls that has been hit with an ax, and preserved bloated colons. I loved it.

I also stoped by Eastern State Penitentiary. This was the first ever Penitentiary and is the 3rd most haunted building in the U.S. - I didn't see any ghosts but the whole thing was very creepy and intriguing. The audio tour was even narrated by Steve Buscemi!

*Wednesday I flew from Philly to L.A. and was picked up in the airport by THE Eric Spudic. (http://www.myspace.com/spudicsmovieempire) Grabbed a some burgers from In and Out, then spent the rest of the night watching bad movies with Heidi. (http://pretty-scary.net/)

*Thursday was my shoot with Chad Michal Ward. (http://www.digitalapocalypse.com/) I have been in love with his work for many years now and it was amazing to finally shoot with him.

We started off shooting some sexy military girl photos and ended the shoot with me covered in baby powder, spit, and gore! I can't wait to see how they turned out :)

It was great to work with another artist who "gets" horror. I've had many photographers tell me that I was disgusting because of the photos/movies I've made. With Chad, I didn't have to hold back.

*Friday Spudic drove me back to the airport and I made my way back to St.Louis.

Now I have jet lag.

But I love what I do ... and in the end that's what counts.

STAY DEAD!

Nos