ABBA + The end of summer

Greetings SCARS readers!

I know summer technically goes till the end of August but kids are back in school, summer tours are ending, and my fall endeavors have started to take over.

The summer of 09' was epic. Television went digital. Famous people died. The 6th Harry Potter film came out. I graduated from cosmetology school, worked on two movies, traveled this country, and took many pretty photos.

How do you end the most important summer ever? ABBA. Gold.

Yes, you herd me. This blog, after all, is titled Confessions of a Gore Whore. Seeing ABBA was an unexpected surprise, like finding a bag of melted chocolate in your car.

The whole thing came about during a hot August afternoon. My younger cousin and I where at the Decatur Celebration watching one of her favorite bands play. After the show she informs that ABBA GOLD will be performing that night, to which I respond "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". Sure enough at 9:45 the ABBA was set to play. How could I resist?

I'm proud to report that it was every bit the freak show I had hoped for. Drunk forty somethings having some sort of a religious experience. A woman with her hands in the air, dancing in circles, sobbing. People holding hands and belting out the words to FERNANDO. - I had really underestimated the raw power of ABBA and their fan base.

The show was performed in all the 70's glory too! White and gold spandex outfits, glitter head bands, and even go go boots. The energy was truly amazing. I wasn't expecting this kind of heart .... it got me thinking about the end of summer.

Late July, early August is naturally a sad time. As kids it was the end of our summer, as adults it's the end of our childhood. For one reason or another, many people I held close to my heart pass away during this time too. Every August I always long for things that simply don't exist anymore. But then there these little moments that wash over us ... remind us of who we use to be. For that split second you're right back where you're from and it's a beautiful thing.

That's what those people at the show were feeling. In that forty-five minutes, they were sixteen again. Fucking Dancing Queens ... all of them.

And you know what? They probably all needed that.

******************************************************************

I know my adventures are for from being over. 2009 keeps getting better and better, even with the bullshit that pops up.

Sometimes it's just nice to have silly summer evening and forget about life for minute.

STAY DEAD!

Nos

Safety First.

So after a conversation I had this week, I feel the need to address something important. I know a lot of new and would be models/actresses read this blog. I love you ladies and I want you to be safe! Modeling/acting should be a healthy and positive experience for you.

So lets get real for a second.

I have been working in this field for 7 years now. A large part of it has been film work. (both behind and in front of the camera) A large part of it has also been naked and in "adult" situations. When I'm filming a movie there are ALWAYS multiple people on set. I have NEVER been on set with just me and the director. Sometimes I ask for a "closed" set in which only the necessary people are in the room. This is perfectly acceptable and I've never had any director or producer contest it. Things are always kept extremely professional and I have never felt like my performance has suffered.

Modeling is a slightly different situation in that you don't need as many people on set. (It's not like you're running sound and generally the photographer lights his own set.) Depending on what your shooting there may be a make up/hair stylist and even someone running wardrobe. Other times it will just be the photographer on set.

I want to get something crystal clear here: In either case, you have the RIGHT to bring an escort.

It's about what makes YOU comfortable and able to do your best work. For some girls that's going alone to a shoot ... and that's fine too so long as it's your decision to do so. Personally, I always have an escort/assistant/travel companion the first time I shoot with anyone new. 9 time out of 10 they drive me to the location, look things over, shake hands with the director or photographer and then leave until we're done shooting. Other times they stick around for the whole thing and quietly read a book in the next room.

Anyone who makes you feel that you're stupid for doing this is full of shit.

Trust me, I've been on both sides. I've had actresses bring escorts that have almost burnt down the studio. Does that mean I no longer allow escorts on my set? Of course not. It just means that if someone is being a douche bag, I ask them to step out until we're done shooting. There's no reason what so ever that the director/photographer can't at least meet with your escort.

It's also one thing for the director/photographer to openly discuss the situation with you and another for them the flip out the moment you mention bringing someone else. If they are getting angry with with you, saying condescending things about you, or telling you that you're not a "real" professional ... END THE CONVERSATION RIGHT THERE. You don't need to put up with that bullshit - and that's just what it is, BULLSHIT. You have to really ask yourself if this is type of person you want to be working with. Someone who won't even talk to you about your concerns or even listen to what you are saying. Someone who will belittle you because of your choices.

No gig is worth that.

However YOU need to be understanding too. One the reasons directors/photographers get upset about escorts is that models do bring the wrong people with them. Remember this is about your comfort ... so if you feel uncomfortable undressing in front of your father, you really shouldn't bring him to your nude scene. If your lover is the extremely jealous type you might feel self conscious if they're lurking around. If your best friend is gonna talk on the cell phone the whole time and eat all the food ... they might not be the best choice either. Whoever you bring needs to be professional, courteous, and invisible.

It's a great big, fun world .... there just happens to be a lot of shit heads.

Be safe.

Love you.

Nos

Philly + L.A.

This past week was completely nuts ... and I loved every minute of it!

*On Sunday I flew out to Philly.

*Monday my mother and I hit up a mall the size of a third world country. I may have geeked out over the couture boutiques more than once.

*Tuesday I visited the Mutter Museum. (http://www.collphyphil.org/mutter.asp) This place has an amazing collection of dead things. We're talking fetus babies in jars, conjoined twin skeletons, skulls that has been hit with an ax, and preserved bloated colons. I loved it.

I also stoped by Eastern State Penitentiary. This was the first ever Penitentiary and is the 3rd most haunted building in the U.S. - I didn't see any ghosts but the whole thing was very creepy and intriguing. The audio tour was even narrated by Steve Buscemi!

*Wednesday I flew from Philly to L.A. and was picked up in the airport by THE Eric Spudic. (http://www.myspace.com/spudicsmovieempire) Grabbed a some burgers from In and Out, then spent the rest of the night watching bad movies with Heidi. (http://pretty-scary.net/)

*Thursday was my shoot with Chad Michal Ward. (http://www.digitalapocalypse.com/) I have been in love with his work for many years now and it was amazing to finally shoot with him.

We started off shooting some sexy military girl photos and ended the shoot with me covered in baby powder, spit, and gore! I can't wait to see how they turned out :)

It was great to work with another artist who "gets" horror. I've had many photographers tell me that I was disgusting because of the photos/movies I've made. With Chad, I didn't have to hold back.

*Friday Spudic drove me back to the airport and I made my way back to St.Louis.

Now I have jet lag.

But I love what I do ... and in the end that's what counts.

STAY DEAD!

Nos

Texas

Greetings SCARS readers!

I just got back from 3 days of insanity and adventure!

For about 6 months, I've been planing a shoot for my company APPLE WORM PRODUCTIONS to promote the upcoming website. Naturally I employed the services of LITHIUM PICNIC (www.lithiumpicnic.com) who is one of my all-time favorite photographers. I also teamed up with SINched (www.getsinched.com) because they make THE most amazing corsets ever and I love them.

Since I was going to be in Houston shooting with Mr.Picnic anyway ... I decided to hire him to shoot my entry fro the N.A.H.A. awards too. (N.A.H.A. awards being a HUGE hair styling competition.) I picked the theme "sideshow freaks" and bribed Sarah Swofford, Pandora Genocide, and Kaila Marie into letting me transform them into said freaks.

Sarah Swofford lives in Dallas, so Houston is about 4 hours away for her. St.Louis, where the rest of us live, is 14 hours away.

I somehow fit me, all my hair crap, a full sized mermaid tail (courtesy of www.robotmonkeylab.com), a large sword, 2 models, and all our "necessities" in my tiny yaris.

Amazingly enough we didn't kill each other. We did however have crazy road adventures ... like almost getting blown up by a burning van and icky gas stations with cool wolf stickers.

We got into Houston around 8:30 p.m. I crashed for 1 hour and then headed to Mr.Picnic's studio to shoot. SINched was there with not only a corset but a whole beautiful outfit made just for me :) The extremely talented Lalo of Lalo Arts did my hair and makeup ... and kept me looking good throughout the shoot. And then Picnic worked his magic and the shoot turned out really great! I got back to the hotel room around 3:30 a.m. and didn't wake up till the afternoon.

Saturday evening the models and I made our way back over to the studio. From 5 to 10 it was non-stop hair/makeup styling and shooting. I'm really happy with how everything turned out and the ladies did so well! We went back to the hotel room and crashed for a few hours and then it was time to embrace the open road again.

I got a little bit of sleep in and then woke up early this morning for a hair class. I learned the "Tokyo Drift" which is really just a stylish mullet. -But mullets a really in right now, so I'll be doing a lot of them this fall at the salon.

Now it's catch up time before I hit Philly and then L.A. :D

STAY DEAD!

Nos

mid summer update

Hello SCARS readers!

It's hard to believe it's already July 15th! This summer is going by wicked fast which kinda makes me sad ... I'm enjoying it too much!

One of the many cool things I've gotten to be part of is ZIVITY.

There is fact we all have to face: Sometimes erotic photography is really bland and not worth your time. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE looking at photos of pretty naked girls. -Hell I enjoy BEING the pretty naked girl too! But when the photos look rushed and uninspired ... they do nothing for me.

Zivity.com is nothing like that and I adore it. The photography collection is stunning.You should check it out ONLY if you want to see me and other pretty girls naked!

The FIVE edit is coming along very well! I'm about half way done with the first cut. Still a ways to go but it's getting there! I'm really happy with the results too. My cast gave 110 % and it shows on screen!

As I type this blog Eric Stanze is working his butt off on RATLINE post-production. Every now and then I get a look at the footage and I'm really loving what I see! Book mark the official website for updates as they unfold:

This Friday I'm packing up and heading out on my first real road trip since I graduated from school. I'm off to Huston, TX to work with the world famous LITHIUM PICNIC (lithiumpicnic.com) and the fantastic clothing designer SINched. We haven't all collaborated since 2006 so it's long over due. I'm also putting together a top secret hair project while I'm there. I don't want to give anything away but in involves pretty girls like Sarah Swofford, Pandora Genocide, and Kaila Marie. (Kaila Marie is "Kayla" from the previous blog post)

Then it's a week of editing, then on to Philly, and THEN L.A.!

And then summer will be over :(

But the fall of 09' is looking pretty damn good too. I'll be the centerfold in the September issue of SCARS MAGAZINE !

STAY DEAD!

Nos

My birthday blog

Hello SCARS readers!

This is my first annual birthday blog post! Are you super excited? Good.

I am 25 today.

Many people seem to get upset over this number, I am proud to report I am not among them. I wasn't really sure how I'd feel today but as it turns out I am eerily calm. Like a Hindu cow - or however that saying goes.

Anyways a quarter of my life is over.

I'd like to think of it as smooth sailing from here ... but that might be a load of crap. I do know I'll be doing whatever the hell I want for the next 75 years and I highly encourage all of you to do the same. Life really is fucking short. - And that's if you get a 100 years.

So here it goes:

*If you are not the person you where at 18 ... good.

*If you are not happy with your career choice .... get a new job.

*If you are not happy with the people you've surrounded yourself with ... find new people.

It's what I've learned in 25 years anyway.

Well that's my birthday message! Thanks for reading :)

STAY DEAD!

Nos

Past, Present, and Future.

There was a time when not everything had been done already.

In this magical time filmmakers didn't seem very afraid to take risks. Great art was made and devout fans followed. Then somewhere along the line movies started to repeat themselves and (most) filmmakers lost their balls.

And it seems the horror genre is still recovering from it.

I feel a large part of problem is the total lack of faith directors/actors/producers have in horror. I've herd it many times: "Horror movies are the lowest form on entertainment.", "I'm a real actor so I don't do horror films.", "Horror films never have a real plot" and so on...

I've never been entirely sure where this mentality comes from. Horror films, historically, make good money. In fact it's one of the only genres of film that appreciates in value over time. Think about it: How many times have you seen a NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD lunch box, a Freddy action figure, or a SUSPIRIA t-shirt and bought it? I rest my case.

Horror is also one of the genres where you can be in one film for ten minutes, as child, and twenty years latter still sell your autographs at a conventions. - And those snarky little comets about Horror movies never having a plot? Well I can't even begin to list all the goddamn films that prove those statements wrong.

However, with all that being said, we as horror advocates have made it very easy for people to draw critical opinions in the last ten years. I sometimes feel that even those who love horror don't respect it enough to make a descent movie. I'm not going to get into name calling here but I think those certain titles are easy enough to find.

If you know you've made a pile of shit, why do you release it? Why not just bury it in the back yard and start over? You're not doing anyone any favors, including yourself, by putting out a terrible movie. -And for the record I'm not bashing the b-movies or the trash films .... I'm referring to the unwatchable garbage floating around out there.

Here's a thought: How about we all try our best to put out GOOD and CREATIVE art? Let's have some respect for the horror film! There's no reason we can't see a "second coming". Not all the good ideas have been taken and there's still time to grow a pair!

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

Xo

Nos