Monday, January 18, 2010

DAYBREAKERS ... so much for my first horror movie of 2010.

I don't like posting bad reviews.

Generally if I don't like something, I try to just move on and not give it anymore thought. I like to save my energy and time for something that's worth writing about.

But DAYBREAKERS really pissed me off.

In stats off just fine. Vampire teen offs herself by staying out in the sun, everyone goes to work/school at night, and humans are used as cattle. So we've established this isn't TWILIGHT. Ethan Hawke takes up the lead as Edward Dalton, a hematologist, who trying to find a blood substitute. The humans are dying out and because the vampires didn't think ahead far enough to save a few back. Now the vampires are changing into crazy bat creatures because they aren't ingesting enough blood.

And this my friends is where it starts to fall apart.

Ethan Hawke is adorable as a vampire and all ... but he's just not a strong enough actor to carry the rest of the cast's pathetic attempts. Sam Neil starts strong but ends his performance in cringe worthy overacting. Claudia Karvan's performance barley registers on screen and Willem Dafoe ... WHAT THE FUCK? I didn't think Dafoe was capable of such horrid acting ... but there it was, up on the big screen, in all it's glory. I think he actually made the movie worse. I felt embarrassed for him.

The script was just all over the place and I ended up not giving a shit about any of the characters. Even the few cool gore scenes in movie couldn't save it.

Even the music score seemed really off .... and why the hell was Hawke doing some sort of half ass narration at the end?

The greatest injustice is that I think there might have been a good movie in there. Somewhere. But lord knows who got a hold of what and trashed it. *sigh* I've grown real tired of half baked horror films. I was so excited to see something that wasn't a remake ... and then so terribly disappointed when it seemed slapped together.


So that's my two cents ... bad script, bad acting, bad editing, and really mismatched music.


Someday a new horror film will come along and sweep my off my feet. Till that day I'm gonna watch ye old copy of TOOLBOX MURDERS and pretend I'm Able Ferrara's girlfriend.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Dear 2010 Horror

Dear Horror films of 2010,

Please, please be good. I know you have it in you!

Let's see some vomit educing gore, REAL FX, and kick ass locations.

I would LOVE IT if you laid off the fruity vampires ... just a little. Maybe start by NOT having them sparkle like glow worms.

Also it would make me less nauseous if you stopped calling your 5 million dollar film an "indie" flick.

I'd like to see more werewolves. However, I'd prefer said werewolves to not be c.g.i. blobs of goo.

Speaking of c.g.i. blobs of goo ... if you have to remake something can please try and not fuck it up?

Oh and you know when I really want to watch horror films? IN THE MONTH OF OCTOBER. There's this holiday called HALLOWEEN thats observed on the 31st of that month.




Make us proud!

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